Friday, August 7, 2009

tonight.

jake and i were sitting on the couch the other night, drinking wine and watching conan. completely usual and completely happy. 
he had been on the phone with scram and the ranks ( i think) for a while, and he had come back inside kind of down; he was out of cigarettes and out of friends in nashville. he said he just wanted friends and to be in fayetteville. and i said i know, im sorry. ill be your guy friends. and then we realized that i was really bad at it. and then i lost it. sometimes i forget that he's here for me. he's the most selfless person i know and it was suddenly enveloping. and i was sobbing, thanking him, not in words so much, for being here with me. 

later, when i had thanked him silently through my tears, and regained a normal level of acute emotion, he stopped and turned to me:

jake: do you have any plans for Friday night?
me: no. ummm, no, not at all. 
jake: cause i wanted to take you out to dinner. i was thinking we could go get sushi and then go to the wine loft. 
me: wait, like a date!?!? 
jake: yea, i want to take you out. it'll be your night, whatever you want. i just know you've wanted sushi lately. and you can get dressed up. 
me: Really!??! Okay, YES!!!
Jake: is that okay? i just want to take you out. 
(Grinning) yessssss!
Jake: ok, good. 
me: Jake, I'm so excited. you're wonderful. 
Jake: no, sarah, you're wonderful. you're my favorite thing. what are you going to wear? 
me: my new black dress from scarlet and my new gianni bini shoes!!!

and then he kissed me. 

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